Found 46 records | Page 1 of 5
on 12/12/2012 - 05:15 pm
There is something magical about this time of year. People seem happier. Children are less annoying. And overall the world just seems a bit more peaceful. But this time of year always reminds me of one thing; coming out to my parents for the first time. The first time I said I was bi, then went back and said it was a phase. (Total bullshit obviously) The following Spring, I came out as gay. So, every time it starts to get chilly out and Christmas wreaths go up at my house, I think back to that very unique winter break. It’s hard to believe it was 4 years ago; seems like just yesterday...
You know those moments when you swear that time has decided to drag itself out in order to make life’s most awkward moments just go on and on? Yea, that was my drive from college in south Georgia back to my parent’s house in north Atlanta.
I had told maybe a handful of friends in Milledgeville that I thought I was ‘bi’. They understood - though looking back I’m sure they knew I was going through the stages of coming to terms with who I was. But thinking of the reactions from my friends versus my family was a whole different ballgame. Now with my family’s religious background and the fact that I was in a very Christian fraternity, I feared the worst when it came to reactions. I imagined being thrown out of my house, my mother crying and saying I was a disappointment. These truly horrible visions haunted me for weeks and only got worse during the drive home.
Well, I finally arrive home (in my very butch F-150). I was shaking and ready to throw up. But somehow I gathered my wits and went inside and did my best not to act like something was heavy on my mind. I’m sure my mother could tell though, as all Italian women can. I managed to make it two days without telling them or even really talking to them. Thank goodness for the new Halo game, it kept me busy in the basement and took my mind off some of the stress. But finally it got to the point where I knew I had to actually talk to them, or else they would think something was really wrong. If I had thought more, I would have opened up with a line like, ‘Mom…Dad…I got a girl pregnant.’ Perhaps that would have made the next shock a little easier. Alas, I was not that tactful. I waited until I was about ready to leave the house to go to a party that evening. While they were watching TV, I walked into the living room and just looked at them both and said. “I’m bi, I like girls and guys. Okay, I’m going over to Catherine’s. Bye!”
Yea, not my best moment…Want to know their reaction and the real place I went? Here’s a hint - it wasn’t Catherine’s house. Check back next week!
on 11/28/2012 - 02:48 pm
Today, I want to have a very simple message for everyone out there. It’s one that many people have spoken before, people much more powerful and influential than myself. I am calling for peace. I know that sounds like a far reaching concept. Something so vague yet so simple can’t possibly be conveyed, yet alone achieved, through something as ordinary as a blog, but I think it can.
Every morning when I wake up, I automatically turn on the TV to CNN and MSNBC. I listen to John Berman talk about the violence in Syria, the fights in Washington between political parties, and the people being scammed
on 11/27/2012 - 04:19 pm
To give you some idea of my surroundings, I’m sitting in a small coffee shop, overlooking the lake, listening to some grandmothers’ talk about their grandchildren and reminisce about husbands that have passed. There’s Christmas music from the Grinch is playing in the background (I can’t help hum along). It’s truly one of the most peaceful places I’ve been in months. And yet I’m coming down off one of my most stressful days ever.
As I’m writing this I keep replaying the past few days of my Thanksgiving vacation over in my head. I find myself lacking the air of drama that I was expecting. I don’t know if it was the mountain air, the pristine waters on the lake, or perhaps the fact that all of the cousin are now of drinking age (or close enough we don’t pay attention), but something made this year the best yet. We sat around with our wine, laughed until our sides hurt and started crying. It was convenient that grandmamma couldn’t hear as well as she used to, we got away with a few dirtier jokes than usual.
Now backing up a little bit…
It takes about 8 hours for me to drive up for the lake house in Virginia, and I have to admit, my imagination is a torturous bitch the entire time. I imagined one of my cousins asking me what it was like to be a ‘queer’ while we were sitting at dinner. Or another saying that she can’t believe that I turned out to be a ‘faggot’. These are really the thoughts I had, and I’m honestly ashamed to have even had such horrible thoughts about my family. They are the same people that have loved me since before my memory can even recollect, and I twisted my thoughts to be resentful and spiteful.
Now don’t get me wrong, no one asked if I was dating anyone, or about my recent breakup. Then again, no one else was asked either. We spent more time talking about work, the upcoming wedding, and whether or not the Hokies were going to destroy UVA this year. (Which they did win in the last few seconds with a field goal, in case you were wondering.)
So I would like to just say - sometimes the fear of what is unknown can really twist what is and want will be. If we aren’t careful it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes it’s just best to know you can’t control other peoples actions and you never know, they might just surprise you.
on 11/14/2012 - 08:03 am
But seriously, the holidays are a stressful time no matter what you do and it’s because there is something very special that happens this time of year. Families everywhere gather together to spend time with each other. The gay community seems to have extreme cases; either their family is over abundant with joy and love for their child’s rainbow filled life or they would rather just ignore the fact entirely. (I’m not going to get in the really extreme negative cases; I'd probably start bawling on the key board to be honest.)
Now, I’m fortunate enough that my immediate family embraced me with love and support once they adjusted to the idea. They attend HRC events and always ask about my dating life; my mother sometimes with too much desire for detail. But my extended family...well I haven’t seen them in over 3 years. We used to always gather for Thanksgiving in Virginia, but due to various health issues for different people, it just hasn’t happened…until next week. When they last saw me I had just posted on Facebook that I was dating a guy, who I broke up with barely 2 weeks later. (My first ‘boyfriend’, while sweet, was so far away from what I was looking for. And I’ve dated people longer than that relationship lasted.) My cousins said nothing. My aunts and uncles weren’t on Facebook yet, so I really had no idea if they knew. Well, fast forward to today, my life is pretty damn gay and my Facebook shows it. I mean, if wearing a ‘Legalize Gay’ shirt and me with a group of drag queens doesn’t at least ping your gaydar, there are some much bigger issues we need to talk about.
So the real question is, what’s going to happen when I walk through those big oak doors next Wednesday? When we talk about dating, am I going to be skipped over? Will I get the religious right from my one super Catholic cousin? Seriously, he could wear the cape and tights and throw pointy crosses and I wouldn’t blink twice. Or will they perhaps just embrace it like my parents? I have no idea, but I come from a long line of conservatives. If any of them voted for Obama, you could color me pink and call me Shirley.
As I prepare over the next week for what will probably be my most stressful holiday, I wonder, what do you do to cope with your family life? And if you say scotch, well I’m already a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black ahead of you.
on 11/07/2012 - 04:57 pm
Cocktails, Pitchers of beer, Wings, Nachos…and about 100 people with their eyes glued to CNN. This is not your typical night at Taco Mac. It is however the scene here for the HRC Atlanta’s War Room, one of many across the country. While mainly compiled of democrats rooting on Obama there is a sprinkling of republicans that came to join their friends.
About every political analyst is on CNN giving their input and analyzing the results as each poll closes. Jokes are passed, “Wow big surprise there, Obama won Vermont and Romney won Kentucky.”
As the polls closed and the projected winner of each state is announced there is a very audible cheer every time President Obama is announced as the projected winner.
It’s amazing how many people keep pouring in. People that have no idea what is going on upstairs are coming up from all noise. You would think that some a football game was being played but no, it’s just people cheering for every victory; watching as more states report in favor of Obama. Then the ballot initiatives start coming in, both Maryland and Maine are showing favor towards marriage equality. The uproar is deafening. Years of campaigning and fighting for marriage equality is starting to show and the teams in this room are tear stricken with happiness to see their hard work coming to fruition.
The big announcement…Tammy Baldwin winning the race for a U.S. Senate seat.
Tammy Baldwin making history as the first openly gay U.S. Senator. Having met her at several of the HRC events across the country, I can personally say that she is a woman of amazing character and I know that her time will truly be historic beyond being the first openly gay U.S. Senator.
Finally Shortly after 11…
President Obama is officially reelected the President of the United States.
It’s was determined much earlier than I expected. With my favorite line being, “Well Fox News is calling it, so it must be true.” Chad Griffin of the HRC is releasing videos congratulating all the efforts of volunteers across the nation. People are hugging and kissing. My parents are cussing silently at home. But Equality has won out across the nation. Now there is no confusion, there is much work still to do. There are states that still allow individuals to be fired for being gay. States where individuals can be denied housing strictly based on who they love. This battle is not over. There is still so much to do but this is a step towards eliminating those practices.
So congratulations President Obama on another 4 years. It’s now time to push for the equal rights that our community deserves and has been so long denied.
on 10/31/2012 - 03:01 pm
I know you are all anxiously awaiting my next post. It's not up yet because I'm actually going to write about a first in my life...I'm going to a very gay Halloween party this evening and
I want to share what happensbecause I know it will be...
on 10/24/2012 - 07:15 am
There has been a rather heated debate going on around my office. Now usually, our debates revolve around either who is going to get the last cup of coffee or who is best suited to date Adam Levine. But this time it’s a matter of fashion. Now I am no fashion whore, running out and spending god awful amounts of money on high end styles. But I’d like to think I throw a half decent outfit together. And currently my accessory of choice for my more classy events is the ever stylish bow tie. Certain people in my office think I look goofy or downright silly. I just simply refer to the Goddess of Fashion, Miranda Priestly.
“You have no sense of fashion...No, no, that wasn't a question.”
Some of us feel that bow-ties are undoubtedly the coolest come back since the Robert Downy Jr.’s comeback. (And may I say, so glad he did) I mean just look at how debonair he looks in one?!?
Now I will say, there are good ways, and some very bad ways to wear a bowtie. For example the clip-on, dear heaven to Betsy I saw a guy get called out for wearing one at an art gallery…I don’t think his social life has ever recovered. So leave the clip-on’s for Pee-Wee Herman and your high school band kids. Then there are the over the top, polka dotted, looks-like-you-stole-it-off-a-clown-from-the-county-fair, bow ties; Again, not classy.
But when a guy (or girl, I’ve seen it pulled off quite nicely) walks into the room, with that perfectly yet careless tied bow tie (yea, for those of you that strive for the perfectly symmetrical tie…quit, it makes you look like something out of a serial killer flick), it makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it. So for my quick tidbit of advice today, all I have to say is:
Rock out some bow ties for your upcoming holiday parties! Don’t be afraid to try something a little different, but don’t fuss over it too much and end up looking like a shmuck.
And for kicks and giggles here are some examples to prove that bow ties are indeed sexy! (Joey if you are reading this, this is for you.)
on 10/17/2012 - 05:17 pm
Every year I promise myself the same things; I won’t stay out til 3AM three nights in a row, I won’t start drinking til at least 6PM, I will not wake up with hangovers blessed by the spawn of satan. But alas, every year I break my promises and come Monday morning I have the same thought in my head...
I have the worst Pride Hangover.
And it’s not just the alcohol; It’s also the sheer amount of energy that goes into Pride. You go out Friday with your friends to celebrate a weekend that is bigger than Cher announcing a comeback tour. But then you see that cutie in the corner of the bar, and you decide to strike up a conversation, (It is Pride after all.)I mean, what’s more romantic than meeting your future lover than at Pride right? Well, they have to run, BUT they tell you they are going out to some weird bar that you usually avoid, but you still say, “Well cool, maybe I’ll see you out.”… Don’t lie to me. You know it’s true. You are secretly having Siri find you directions and a cab from your place to there as you say good-bye.
Then the next day, it’s brunch. Something usually reserved for Sunday
Funday, but again, it’s Pride so why the hell not start the day off with Mimosas? Walk
through the park with a good buzz, see a bunch of drag queens and half naked girls and boys. Everyone is decked out in rainbows and glitter. It’s like a freaking Ke$ha music video (minus the laser guns.) By the time you’ve walked (and had a few beers) you are exhausted and need a disco nap. Otherwise, how will you be on your game to talk to the sexy future Mrs. You.
Fast forwarding, you go bar hopping so you can see the regulars. Talk a few friends into going with you to the weird bar so you don’t look like a total tool hanging out there by yourself. Get there, and there they are, chilling at the bar
with their friends. You notice they keep looking around. And then they see you. And BAM! You know it’s all good. They break out this goofy grin that makes you want to melt, and yammer on like some stupid Family Guy skit.
Well, needless to say, I think you know that, as smooth of a talker you are….you know exactly where this is going so I won’t go into the nitty gritty.
Now it’s finally Sunday! Time for the parade!! (But first you have to get home. Because as the Klassy (with a capital K) lady you are, you weren’t there last night.)
Streets are packed with gays, lesbians, drag queens and every other walk of life that loves the gays! The best are the straight women that follow along their respective gays and say, ‘Oh he’s a cutie! Go talk to him!’ They are sooo trying to live vicariously through their gay-boy counterpart.
Now, scream your head off for about the next 2 hours. By the time the parade is over you are draped in beads, and useless trinkets . And like a memorized toddler you can’t help but want every piece they throw! Weighted down as you are, you still make one last round through the park. Seeing what there is to be seen. Send off a quick text to ‘you-know-who’ saying, “I had a lot of fun hanging out last night.” After all, they were really cute.
And after all is said and done, you have to go to bed and be ready for work the next morning and deal with reality. (And the huge bar tab you should not have run up over the weekend.)
This is the Pride Hangover! I hope everyone’s Pride festivals this year were fabulous! We say goodbye to this season and welcome in the next!
Now where did I put my naughty Santa hat…
on 10/10/2012 - 05:17 pm
What is Pride? Is it that feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and know that you are trying to make a difference in the world? Or is it knowing that you have overcome something most people said you’d never be able to?
Well, for many people, Pride can mean a whole slew of different things. It’s getting that promotion that you’ve worked so hard for. Seeing you son or daughter play their first sport. Sometimes is as simple as mastering how to make that incredibly difficult Roasted Garlic Soufflé with Brown Butter that you have tried 10 times to make, only to get a deflated mess in the oven; or perhaps that one is just on me.
Either way, it’s a universal feeling regardless of who you are or where you are from. It’s a feeling somewhere between joy and blissful orgasm. (Just doesn’t usually involved curled toes.) But it does take on special meaning for the LGBTQ community. We hear pride and think of rainbow flags, floats, and go-go boys (again, that last one is just me). But we also think about the feeling of love and acceptance we get when we are surrounded by likeminded people, our “family”. All during the year we hear in hushed tones, “Wait, are you family?” People discovering a new found sister of the gay religion, but during Pride, everyone’s family, even if you aren’t!
It becomes a time of reflection and celebration. Some of us think about the struggles we’ve overcome in the past year. Some think back to the beginning of our movement at Stonewall Inn. Some simply think about how they managed another year of being fabulous.
Well this year, I want to shout to the heavens, cry out to the gods and say, ‘It’s 2012 and it’s our time!!’
Over the past year, our movement, which has been creeping out of the shadows, has been blown onto the main stage. We are all over the news and main stream shows. Gone are the days where we were secluded to the LOGO and Bravo channels and Will & Grace (while revolutionary, was just the first of many steps). We have become truly main stream with more allies than ever, chanting for reform. So this year I say…
HAPPY F***KING PRIDE!! IT’S OUR TIME!
on 10/03/2012 - 03:21 pm
I have a scary phrase for you, so I need you to prepare yourself. It’s something that people either embrace or run away screaming like a child in the night from. Ready? ‘Happily Single’
That was half the gay men dropping their iPads in shame of reading such a phrase, let alone the lesbians who stopped their UHaul for a split second. But yes, I said ‘Happily Single’ and it’s something I think more people need to work towards. To give a brief insight into my personal world, I went through my first LTR breakup (that’s long term relationship for those of you out of sync with the online dating terms). And all in all it was as text book as you can get, we are still very good friends and it was an amicable split. But now that I find myself back in the world of dating, I am noticing a trend I didn’t see before. Most of my friends are asking me who my next boyfriend is going to be? When am I going on a date with What’s-his-name? Do I want to be setup on a date with such and such?
Really? Come on.
I would like to say that I am working on being ‘Happily Single’. There’s that scary word again. No I don’t plan on being alone for years, but I am also not planning on tying the knot by next Tuesday. So I have been wondering, what is it that scares our community so much into refusing to be single?
Honestly this will probably be a two part blog cause I really do want to hear your feedback.
I do have one theory, and I can only speak for the men here. I learned a long time ago not to stick my opinion where it doesn’t belong, and one of those places is in lesbian affairs.
Gay men are so visually wired, not just sexually, but in the public image as well. We have this ideal that we need to have someone on our arm. We see ads where there are guys holding hands, going on vacation, enjoying drinks, or getting married even!! It’s an overload that’s worse than my mother’s constant obsession over how soon I am going to bring grandkids into her life.
Here are a few examples:
See how happy they are TOGETHER! So it’s become the norm to jump from boyfriend to boyfriend; partner to partner; trick to trick. To never be seen single or not at least talking to someone. So I propose this, Why not just be single and happy for a bit? Enjoy the company of friends and going out without wondering whether or not some boy thinks you are cute.
Now do not get me wrong, I love this advertising! I Just about jumped out of my chair when I was working for Hyatt hotels and saw they rolled out LGBT Honeymoon ads. I just want to delve into the idea of not feeling pressured to be with someone. And I have seen people be successful at being
‘Happily Single’. So here goes, to being a well-adjusted, sane, and Single Gay Man.
Please weigh in on your thoughts!